The Why Versus the How of Depression

Many times when people are feeling depressed they start searching for the why. Why am I feeling this way? Why is this happening? Why me? The truth is that sometimes people feel depressed when there is no good reason. Depression can come when it’s sunny outside, when a beautiful baby is born, or when there’s a high school graduation. Sometimes depression comes when everything is going well and everything in your life is OK.

When we start searching for why, we start looking for what’s wrong. We start honing in on all of the things that bother us. Suddenly, everything starts to look wrong. We start questioning ourselves, questioning our decisions, questioning the other people around us, examine faults, analyzing interactions. As a result, we create problems in our relationships, stress, anxiety, and chaos. ┬áThis makes the depression bigger.

Instead of looking for the why, it is more helpful to start looking for the how. How am I going to cope? How am I going to get through this? How am I going to make decisions that are good for me despite how I’m feeling right now? How am I going to accept the support of the people who love me? Depression will pass. A professional counselor can help you manage your symptoms and guide you through the hows in order to ease your struggle.

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